"families are a refuge in good times and bad, a warm place of peace where acceptance reigns"

On this earth, family is most important: a priority that until recently, i haven't enacted. I've understood that family was important, but recently, I've not appreciated my family. A few months ago, i decided to make a change: to love, unconditionally. This is a lofty goal, and by no means do I practice this successfully. Its amazing how making this my aim has made life exponentially more enjoyable. Even more importantly, it has given me a greater appreciation for the group of individuals I'm blessed enough to call my family.

The only thing certain about life is that it ends.

I have a friend who's nephew has a terminal illness. It has ravaged his body. A few days ago, someone informed me that the child may pass in the near future. Hearing this put me in a somber mood. I think back to my friend... i know that he has prayed with everything in him that his nephew would be healed (his entire family too). However, it has meant nothing. Even if he gets better, he will die eventually.

I have another friend who is battling a cancerous tumor in his brain. Its a depressing situation. Around every turn, he faces a new obstacle. Hearing about his latest hurdle, i assured him that i would continue to pray for him. As i began to pray, i had a troubling thought. What do i pray for? Do i pray against the inevitable? Maybe its not cancer that takes his life; maybe its old age.

So what do I pray for? How do we pray for friends? Do we ask God to heal or make our burdens lighter? Or do we ask, no matter how long, short, or difficult one's journey, we learn to embrace our experiences and rely on God?

Jon Foreman and Deas Vail in Concert
"The place God calls you is the place where your deep gladness and the world's great hunger meet"
Frederick Buechner

For 21 years, i have spent my time trying to find my deepest gladness. This summer has been a catalyst. My thought process is now focused around the most self-less life possible. How do i create a life that is completely void of myself? How do i live out an unselfish life?

U-Turns

Its time to put this blog to good use. At first, I intended it to be a place to store my petty rantings or thoughts i feel too childish. I would publish posts only to delete them a week later.

This is all going to change.

Im creating a purpose for this blog. My goal is to make the everyday beautiful. I aim to express awe for the mundane. I hope to show you my delight for the ordinary. All the while, chronicling the journey that is the rest of my life.

Tomorrow is a big day. Today, i went to rock island; beauty and the extraordinary were all around. Tomorrow is Friday. That's it, there is nothing special about it.

I have to find the beauty.

A return to my roots

Over the course of the past three weeks, i have sat through thirty youth camp services (and one Sunday morning service). I have experienced four different speaking styles and heard four different stories.

I have been forever changed.

With regard to Christianity and spirituality, I have experienced many seasons of the soul: zealousness (which is a real word), open defiance, utter brokenness, sheer bewilderment, and everything in between. This past year has been a reawakening of my faith. I have broken through my angst ridden teenage years plagued by doubt. I have discovered a desire to empty myself and give my life away. However, i haven't moved past that. I haven't enacted that desire. When it enters my cognition, I avoid the subject.

This past week, It hit me head on. I have no choice but to accept the responsibilities my journeys have uncovered.

I chose a life of love. I chose a life of prayer. I chose a life this is no longer my own.